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[24] The Week Just Gone by @mufc_dan87

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  • [24] The Week Just Gone by @mufc_dan87

    The Week Just Gone by @mufc_dan87

    Watching paint dry. Counting the injuries Phil Jones and Chris Smalling have accumulated. Watching Miranda.

    Mind-numbingly boring activities as they might be, they’re all preferable to watch United these days.

    A trip to Upton Park was never going to be a walk in the park, but United made life harder for themselves, showing the all too familiar lack of attacking verve and fluidity that we’ve become accustomed to over the last few months.

    Packing the side with attacking players is an excellent idea and it would be even better if they were deployed in the right position, a theory to which Louis Van Gaal is yet to subscribe.

    The Dutchman might well think that Wayne Rooney will turn into a world class midfielder but the United captain is some way short of that, while Angel Di Maria looked he couldn’t be bothered and for all Radamel Falcao’s efforts, it’s simply not happening for him.

    Things are not happening for United either and considering we’re deep into what looks to be the closest top four race in years, the sooner Van Gaal sorts things out, the better for all the parties involved.

    There were, however, some positives to be salvaged from Sunday’s trip to East London. First and foremost we - apart from the middle aged bloke in front of me, who vomited his guts out before falling asleep in the second half - got to enjoy some good, old fashioned last-minute goon.

    Secondly, but by no means less important, Daley Blind’s late equaliser enraged the locals, while a wonderfully bitter Sam Allardyce vented his anger after the match. Allardyce complaining about long football is a bit like the chief executive of Wonga complaining about extortionate loan rates, but each to their own.

    And to think the week had started reasonably well, as United sent Cambridge and the magic of the Cup packing with a comfortable 3-0 win.

    Cambridge, the “plucky League Two outfit” as the obligatory patronising attitude would have it, took 6,500 fans to Old Trafford and put down an early marker for the “Small Club of the Year Award”, by serenading us with new, never-heard-before chants.

    Cambridge fans, in case you wondered, support their local team, forgot we were at the game and thought that our support wasn’t up to their standards.

    Of course, Cambridge’s average attendance is 1,700 lower than the number of tickets they sold for Tuesday night but, according to them, we are the glory hunters. Preston promises to be exactly the same, even though they played in a half-empty stadium against Coventry on Saturday.

    Speaking of fans who never turn up, City are becoming more baffling with each passing day.

    For a team accustomed to take on the likes of Bayern Munich and Barcelona - tickets are on general sale, by the way - playing Hull at home on a Saturday must feel like a bit of a damp squib, but their attendances are even more pathetic than their title challenge this season.

    The title is as good as Chelsea’s, though expect Sky Sports to wheel out clips of Aguero if City manage to close the gap by a couple of points.

    While we’re on the subject of Sky Sports, they’re doing a fine job as promoters of “Steven Gerrard: the Farewell Tour”, a carousel that is almost as embarrassing as Brendan Rodgers’ obsession with himself.

    In the build up the Merseyside derby, Everton were an afterthought - admittedly, something they’ve been for large spells of the season - as all the attention was on good old Stevie, who returned for one last time to the ground of the club he supported as a kid.

    At least Sky redeemed itself by treating us to a documentary about David Moyes, who is like the proverbial thing stuck at the bottom of the toilet that just won’t go away. Since plunging United to previously unseen depths, Moyes has been virtually everywhere and not even his decision to move to Spain has taken him off our screens, quite the opposite, in fact.

    El Moyes said he banned chips because United players were overweight, dismissed claims that he wanted us to aspire to be like City and pointed out for the umpteenth time that he had a six-year deal. Yawn, next.

    It’s all getting a bit out of hand for him and we can only hope he doesn’t do a Pearson and attempts to strangle a player on the touchline.

    Nigel Pearson clearly hates his job, football and probably his life as a whole, though he produced some remarkable shithousery as he attempted to play down Saturday's incident

    Having been criticised by Gary Lineker, Pearson replied by saying he had no issues with HMRC, which is a bit like running over a cyclist and defending yourself by claiming you’ve been nominated father of the year.

    Incidentally, a father, or rather a father figure, is what Ander Herrera might soon need as he sits on the bench wondering what he has to do to get in the side.

    But enough of all the doom and gloom, there’s football under the floodlights on a Wednesday night to look forward. The prospect of an all-Lancastrian derby has never looked so appealing, has it?

    Dan (@mufc_dan87)

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